Hello fellow Weekend Writing Warriors. Welcome back. Three weeks and three excerpts. I have loved everyone’s input. It is interesting how people see the story going one way when it really is going another. People gaining enough interest to want to pick up the book – my job: complete. I hope to continue that with this weeks entry. As before, I begin with the Synopsis of my novel to give you some context.
On a side note, by the time you read this (I am writing this on Friday and scheduling the post so I don’t forget to post, as I have done in the past) I will have competed the final edit and will be ready to submit Little Reminders of Who I am to the publisher sometime on Monday. 😀
Deborah Davies is the daughter of Darren and Angela Davies. They own a diner that has been in the family for several generations. After one of their crucial employees moves on after graduating college, she assumes his role. She quickly earns the attention of; her parents, who want her in the family business, instead of the accounting job she works across town; Aaron Stephenson, a food critic who seems to want more than the daily special; and Carter, a local vagabond who seems to have a unique interest in her life. But Deborah has a secret. And once it is revealed, it changes how she reacts to family, love, and coming to grips with her past.
Here is my eight. I look forward to your comments. (There may be an extra sentence here.)
Aaron watched patrons come and go. They all had the same expressions people have visiting a restaurant: the overindulgence of food and beverage, the giddiness of a first date, and the obvious relief of night away from their kids were all common. Aaron had a game where he would try to guess how long a couple had been dating by how they interacted with each other. Angry guy in the lobby was most certainly less than a month, judging by his date’s response to his overreaction. His neighbor, he figured either recently widowed or unwillingly divorced. He had that ‘nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen’ look in his eyes.
Moments for the Heart 
Aaron is a very interesting character. I hope his little games have made him a good judge of character. Nice snippet!
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Thanks, Jenna. In more ways than one. He can read people and it has ways of helping, and it has ways of backfiring. 😀
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LOL! A pastime I’ve enjoyed in an airport or two. Shows his intuitiveness and a bit of snark. I like him!
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I have been a loner most of my life. In High School, I would go to the food court at the mall with a pretzel and lemonade and just watch people walk by. I would wonder where they were going and the thing that they were headed to do. Don’t for once think that it was sad. I wasn’t. To me that was fun. I enjoyed it. It made me a better writer. When you can see people and take that and put it to paper, you never have to wonder how to write someone.
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Aaron’s a keen observer. I do wonder, though, how accurate his assessments are, since I don’t know him well enough yet to judge. I guess I’ll find out about him as I read more.
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I don’t even think Aaron knows how accurate he is on his predictions of people. He would like to think he is spot on. If his judgment is as good as it is about food, then he can rest his head at night.
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I like the way you take us inside his people assessing. Just like Nancy, I frequently indulge in this behavior–a pleasant pursuit. lol
Best wishes with this book, Jeff. FYI, 8 to 10 sentences is the norm. Sometimes we go over a few to complete a thought or a scene. If you’re in a bind where you need to get more of it out there to finish a chapter, post your 8 to 10 snippet, identify t as such, then add the rest beneath it. Veronica Scott has a great example on her post today of how to do that. 🙂 Sometimes, we just need to share more words. right?
Have a good week!
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Thank you. Actually the overage was last week. This snippet was only six sentences. I copied that block over and forgot to cut out that portion. But thank you for the overage info. And thank you for your compliment. I too enjoy people watching. It is a good way to get ideas for characters and behaviors for them.
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Enjoyed the glimpse into the other diners and his people watching…great snippet!
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Thank you, Veronica.
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I love this! Great insight into the diners. This is a game I enjoy playing myself, “wonder what their story is.” Well done. Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you, Dixie. I love people watching as well, probably why I enjoyed writing this snippet. Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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I wonder how close his guesses are to the truth about the people he’s observing?
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