Hello fellow Weekend Writing Warriors. Welcome back. I have given you a glimpse of Deborah, of Aaron, and Carter; the three central characters of Little Reminders of Who I Am. I want to give you one more glimpse into this novel before I move on. Here is a small exchange with Deborah and her parents, whom she calls Mom and Pop. As before, I begin with the Synopsis of my novel to give you some context.
Deborah Davies is the daughter of Darren and Angela Davies. They own a diner that has been in the family for several generations. After one of their crucial employees moves on after graduating college, she assumes his role. She quickly earns the attention of; her parents, who want her in the family business, instead of the accounting job she works across town; Aaron Stephenson, a food critic who seems to want more than the daily special; and Carter, a local vagabond who seems to have a unique interest in her life. But Deborah has a secret. And once it is revealed, it changes how she reacts to family, love, and coming to grips with her past.
Here are my eight. I look forward to your comments. (okay, this one is a bit above the limit. It being dialogue makes it longer than normal. And I wanted to complete the though here.)
“Oh, Pop, I don’t need or want a relationship right now. I’m way too busy.”
“Relationship? Who said anything about a relationship? He just asked you on a date?”
“Who asked who on a date?” Mom said, coming out of the kitchen.
“Mr. Stephenson asked DeeDee out,” Pop explained.
“Who?” Mom asked.
“The Aaron boy, he sits next to the display case during lunch. He works over at the paper.”
“Oh, the tall young man. He has brown hair and brown eyes.”
“Yes, that’s him, he asked Deborah out, and she said ‘no.’”
“I didn’t say ‘no’ Pop. And his eyes aren’t brown; they are green.”
“Aha,” said Pop, slapping his hands together and pointing at her. “So, you do like him. Like him enough to know what his eye color is.”
“I never said I didn’t like him. Yes, he is attractive, but I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Pop threw his arms up in the air, “Here we go again with the relationship.”
Deborah sighed.
I really hope you enjoyed these snippets of Little Reminders. On Monday, February 17, I submitted the Final Draft to my publisher. You can follow all the updates as to when Little Reminders will be released on this website as well as my Facebook Author page.
I also have many other items of interest: blogs, articles, and other books of interest as you can see from my Home Page. Thank you for your comments and support.
Moments for the Heart 
Oh my, I love this exchange! It’s just how families sound. lol The dialogue is so natural, with a nice twist of humor woven into it. 🙂
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Thank you, Teresa, for the complement. Dialogue has always been a struggle for me. It was one reason why I strayed from writing novels. Your words are comforting.
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Delightful; just like home way back when.
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Thank you for the compliment, Charmaine. I love it when it writing reminds people of their past.
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This conversation had me laughing. I love a story with a lot of conversation woven in, and I agree with Teresa. It’s so natural sounding. Great job!
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One of the greatest compliments to a writer is that their writing sounds natrual. Especially when the writer struggles with writing dialogue. That writier being me. Thank you, Dixie.
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One date does not a relationship make…but I could feel her exasperation! Great snippet…
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She is definitely feeling pressure from all sides. Thanks.
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Great, natural conversation. You’ve got the family dynamic down pat!
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Thanks for the compliment, Jenna. It is difficult for me to write dialogue. The family dynamic I got down, it’s putting it into words is what can be complicated at times.
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If Pop isn’t careful, she’s going to wish she still had that job on the other side of town! Fun snippet.
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Yes, indeed, Alexis. Thanks.
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I enjoyed how you flipped the parents’ roles. Usually it would be the mom trying set the daughter up with a nice boy and the dad who would be oblivious to whether the daughter refused a date.
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Thanks for noticing. While this is love story at its heart, I did not want so much stereotypical behavior that it was predictable. This is one of the change-ups I decided to make. Great catch.
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I loved their banter! I love that her ‘Pop’ is a bit of a matchmaker.
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It was fun to write her father as more willing to be open to a guy in her life than closed off to the idea. The shotgun under the counter was far too stereotypical.
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Your snippet made me chuckle. So realistic, just like family.
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Glad to hear you enjoyed it, Diane. Thanks for the compliment.
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