Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 9/13/2020 – Untitled WIP

Here we go Weekend Writing Warriors. We are back for another week of sharing snippets with our family of writers. One of reasons I look forward to the weekend. I am really excited for this week. We are at the climax for Chapter Two. I hope you are ready. Better yet, I hope I deliver.

This past week I wrote another chapter for this book and I have come to realize that my MC needs to change. I have the Synopsis for Daniel Masters. But I am finding that my MC needs to be Grady. I cannot seem to get the story back onto Masters. At least without a major rewrite. This does pose a problem with how the end of the book is supposed to play out. I have some real changes to make. Either way, both characters play roles in the grand scheme of things.

But let’s get you to the action!! We left you in the middle of Ryan and Clarke’s recounting for Lawson their encounter with the tattooed man and we are almost to the payoff. Here is where we left off:
—-
Clarke opened the door and went high right; Ryan low left, both weapons drawn, fixed on their target. The tattooed criminal sat on a chair with a cigarette in his mouth. Mr. Nelson was laying on a coffee table next to him, unconscious, bleeding from lacerations to his arms and legs, he was half naked, wearing only his boxers and a blood soaked t-shirt.

The tattooed man blew a series of circles into the air. He smiled through his dark handlebar mustache and said, “He’s got about twelve minutes, so I hope you have EMS on their way, I don’t have much time.”

SYNOPSIS:
Lieutenant Daniel Masters is a 27-year veteran Savannah Georgia Major Crimes Detective. He has seen many crime scenes like the one he saw last February. Little did he know this one would change his life. Grady, the newest addition to his team, is the first to see the abnormalities, but will the rest of the team listen in time. There is a serial murder on the loose in South Georgia, and for some reason the killer leaves their final victim alive right before committing suicide. But why? Masters and Grady must find out before its too late and the next killer strikes again.

I am working on an updated Synopsis.

SNIPPET: (I am not going to interrupt this scene with the ten sentence break so I don’t break the flow, but it does go beyond it.)

“Not much time for what?” Masters asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied, “he didn’t say.”

“Masters, can you please save your questions for later? Let me get their statements while they are fresh in their minds, then we can comb through those other details later,” Lawson replied.

“Fine.” Masters said.

“Go on,” Lawson said, again flipping the page of his notepad, “please continue.”

Ryan continued, this time recounting how the blood was pooling under the table. He couldn’t believe that Mr. Nelson was still alive. He was most certainly dead by now. Ryan took his eyes off the victim; he couldn’t bear it. The tattooed man was just staring at them. It was a stale mate. It was Clarke who was first to speak asking the man his name. He wouldn’t reply.

Then Ryan tried to Mirandize the man. But the tattooed man wouldn’t have it. He just laughed and continued to puff away on his cigarette, telling them they were wasting time. Clarke called down for EMS and that seemed to ease the tattooed man. He did not speak again, just staring at them and he kept on checking his watch.

Once the sirens were within ear range he grinned ear to ear and nodded.  He closed his eyes began to mumble under his breath. It was in the familiar cadence of the chanting they heard coming up the stairs. Both officers quickly looked at each other, guns still drawn, knowing something was about to happen. They spoke to him trying to get him to stop speaking, and tried again to read him his Miranda, only his chanting grew louder.

He stood – they gave warning. He walked over to Mr. Nelson – another warning. The tattooed man folded his hands like he was praying, raised them over his head, and he screamed as the entire room began to shake. The officers gave one final warning, and before the tattooed man could thrust whatever he may have had in his hands down into the man’s chest, the officers fired, two shots each, center mass, just as they had been trained, ending the life of the unknown man.

* * *

Wow. Interesting stuff. Hopefully you are out of breath, on the edge of your seat, or as excited as I am. Finally, we got through it. We are now through Chapter Two. We have laid the foundation: An attempted murder, a suicide by cop, and some mysterious antics by the perpetrator. Let’s see how our detectives handle this case from here on out. We will get into the investigation in Chapter Three next week.

Moments of the Heart is not just this website. I have a Facebook page that has something going on everyday of the week. Come on over, follow, and interact with my page to check it out! Here is what you can expect to find there.

Monday is Memory Monday – I share an important event that occurred on that Monday or sometime that particular week.
Tuesday is Talk About it Tuesday – I post a weekly video where I cover a topic that has meant something to me over the past week.
Wednesday is when I post my blog for the week.
Thursday is This or That Thursday – A weekly two option poll that raises the question, do you like this, or do you prefer that?
Friday is Fun Fact Friday – I find and share an interesting or obscure fact.
Saturday is for Weekend Writing Warriors – This is when I post my 8 Sentence Snippet from a current or past work.

I really am trying to make it fun and engaging. Something that people look forward to visiting. It has been something that has been on my heart (no pun intended) for a long time and I am now acting on it. I would love your support!!

Little Reminders of Who I Am is now available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other booksellers.

–The Five Barred Gate is still available on Amazon in Hardback, Paperback, and Kindle versions.

–You can purchase TFBG direct from me on my Home Page. The benefit of buying direct is you will receive a personalized signed copy!!

–My Children’s books, Elissa the Curious Snail are also on Amazon. There are 4 books about an adorable snail teaching children about prayer and believing in themselves.

–Finally you can see all updates regarding the progress of this current Untitled work in progress.

Fellow Warriors, I also have have a weekly blog that is posted in between these snippets. I would love to hear your thoughts.

AND if you have little warriors running around I now have many of my Children’s Short Stories on this website. They were originally on my Elissa the Curious Snail publisher’s website, but I now control that domain and have moved that content here. There are many stories for your little reader. These are great bedtime or anytime short stories.

In His Exciting Service,

Jeff S. Bray


Little Reminders of Who I Am


The Five Barred Gate


Elissa the Curious Snail Series

Check out amazing established and emerging writers at Weekend Writing Warriors. Each week we post new snippets from either published works or works in progress for each other to comment on. Gain insight of how the mind of a writer works and a behind the scenes look at works before they hit book stands everywhere.


13 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 9/13/2020 – Untitled WIP

Leave a comment