Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 11/1/2020 – Untitled WIP

Here we go Weekend Writing Warriors. November begins!! The bell will sound in just a little less than 12 hours and NaNoWriMo 2020 will commence. I am super excited to dig into this Work in Progress and get it completed. In just a little more than 30 days we will have a completed project and hopefully a title. 30 days, 50K words, 1667 words per day. Let’s do this!!

This last week has been pretty interesting for me. I have been volunteering at my local library. I have done it in the past on numerous occasions and work pretty close with the librarian, Marianne McGinnis. I help her organize the books, do book readings, and have hosted a few book signings. Recently the small run-down library moved into their new facility. The old one was the size of a large living room. Earlier this year, they purchased a vacant church building and relocated. Now they have ample space. I have been there to assist getting ready for the grand opening in January. They are open now, but not everything is in place. Here are the two buildings:

Crazy different right. I am excited for Mrs. Marianne and the community of Charlotte for this new library. I am proud to be part of it in more ways than one. I not only live in the city, I will now be part of its history:

This is for Little Reminders. The Five Barred Gate and all four Elissa books are here as well. Exciting stuff!!

Last Week’s Review

But enough about my town and me. Let’s get on with this week’s snippet. We wrapped up Chapter Three last week. With this being a WIP, I am just going to press on and give you a bit more until I feel that it’s enough. And I’m not to that point yet.

Last week was a bit of a mess. Had a lot of feedback and took a bunch of notes for when I go back and edit. I am aware I went into information overload with introducing the team and was not completely clear on who was who, and within my writers mind, failed to deliver on clarity. I will fix that come editing stage. Thank you for all your input. Y’all are awesome!!

Safe to say, the team is all in place. This week they are splitting up to begin the search of Nelson’s home and vehicle to see if he was into more than was initially reported. We pick up at the beginning of Chapter Four.

Here is the end of Chapter Three:

Branson was with Carmen, Grady figured he would need to begin addressing her as Albanese, something he would need to check on. Just don’t screw this one up. He joined them and introduced himself. Branson’s narrow jaw and tight lips stabbed at him without a touch. He just grunted when Carmen, or Albanese, told him that Grady would be running point on the Nelson search.

Grady got it wrong. LaCrosse was not the senior detective, Branson was. He also couldn’t help but noticed that Branson was older than he was. This should be interesting. Just don’t screw this one up, Grady.


Lieutenant Daniel Masters is a 27-year veteran Savannah Georgia Major Crimes Detective. He has seen many crime scenes like the one he saw last February. Little did he know this one would change his life. Grady, the newest addition to his team, is the first to see the abnormalities, but will the rest of the team listen in time. There is a serial murder on the loose in South Georgia, and for some reason the killer leaves their final victim alive right before committing suicide. But why? Masters and Grady must find out before its too late and the next killer strikes again.


****I am skipping a head a bit to get past a couple of scenes that are not too pertinent. Basically, Branson, Nettles, and Mesa team up to go to the apartment and LaCrosse and Grady are teamed up to go to the car. They hang back while LaCrosse and Masters meet behind closed doors and Carmen secures the warrant. After securing the warrant, LaCrosse and Grady head out and Masters stays at the station for reasons unknown at the time. We pick up with LaCross and Grady on their ride to Nelson’s apartment. ****

“So how long were you up in Atlanta?” LaCrosse asked.

“Five years. Three as an officer, two as a detective.” Grady said as if it was no big deal.

“Is that right?” he said, sounding a little more impressed than he expected to hear.

“Thought I was a rookie too?”

“I knew you had experience, just not that much.”

“Ya,” Grady said, shaking his head, “I’ve seen a thing or two.”

“And this?”

“Not the worst, but it’s not something you want to see every day.”

“I don’t think there is much we would want to see every day,” LaCrosse said, then remained silent, stroking his stubble, which also reflected the subtle shades of gray his hair revealed.

***That is this week’s ten, or so. Here is a bit more to complete this scene. ***

Grady broke the silence, “This guy we took out was bad news. We are looking at a possible four homicide connection—the same M.O. But Nelson lived. Tanner had the chance to inflict the same lethal wounds; the question is, why didn’t he.  Perhaps he is just a copycat who flubbed it up. Maybe that is why he pulled his SBC stunt. Afraid to go back to solitary up at State. Too many questions right now.”

“And they didn’t find the weapon when they shot him?” LaCrosse asked.

“Nope. Part of the reason Branson is up there now. That is one of the strangest parts. It just disappeared. Did he use one of Nelson’s knives, then clean up and put it back in the drawer? That is too deliberate and meticulous, not the sign of someone in a crazed mental state who would be mumbling gibberish and giving the officers no choice but to shoot him.”


“The officers who shot him say that he was mumbling while he was standing over Nelson. Crazy stuff, they could not make any of it out,” Grady explained. “Then he raised his hands over his head, and it appeared that he had a weapon in his hands. They thought it was the knife. But afterward, they found his hands empty, and there was no sign of a weapon anywhere.”

There was a rap on the window that made LaCrosse jump. He turned, and Nettles was there with a Fob in his hand. Both men exited the car, and LaCrosse took the key.

And yet another dimension to the original crime scene–a missing weapon. I will admit, I had written this chapter after the fact. I do realize I may need to go back and make some adjustments to hint at the missing weapon, rather than drop a bomb like this here. One of the reasons its difficult to post a WIP is that I pick up on stuff that I neglected to go back and fix.

I believe it should be during the discussion between Grady and Carmen. Or perhaps stressing more in the recounting of the two officers. They did say he had nothing in his hands. But it is never mentioned or asked fully about what caused Nelson’s injuries. These things would most definitely be asked.

Add to the notes for editing. As well as your comments. But a missing weapon will indeed raise questions. Especially when the perp is deceased.

Elissa Book for Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving is coming!! A great turkey day read for your little one!! Check it out!! On sale now!! $4 off regular price when you buy from the publisher!!…

Elissa Learns About Thankfulness
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, consider this charming story for your little reader. Book 4 in the Elissa the Curious Snail Series finds Elissa living with her human friend Francine. Elissa is sad because she cannot do some of the things her friends can do like fly or run. She eventually learns to be thankful for who she is and what she can do. Find out what that is when you cuddle up and read this book with your little one. It is available on Amazon at the link above.

Moments of the Heart is not just this website.

I have a Facebook page that has something going on everyday of the week. Come on over, follow, and interact with my page to check it out! Here is what you can expect to find there.

Monday is Memory Monday – I share an important event that occurred on that Monday or sometime that particular week.

Tuesday is Talk About it Tuesday – I post a weekly video where I cover a topic that has meant something to me over the past week.

Wednesday is when I post my blog for the week.

Thursday is This or That Thursday – A weekly two option poll that raises the question, do you like this, or do you prefer that?

Friday is Fun Fact Friday – I find and share an interesting or obscure fact.

Saturday is for Weekend Writing Warriors – This is when I post my 8 Sentence Snippet from a current or past work.

I really am trying to make it fun and engaging. Something that people look forward to visiting. It has been something that has been on my heart (no pun intended) for a long time and I am now acting on it. I would love your support!!

Important Links!!

Little Reminders of Who I Am is now available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other booksellers.

–The Five Barred Gate is still available on Amazon in Hardback, Paperback, and Kindle versions.

–You can purchase TFBG direct from me on my Home Page. The benefit of buying direct is you will receive a personalized signed copy!!

–My Children’s books, Elissa the Curious Snail are also on Amazon. There are 4 books about an adorable snail teaching children about prayer and believing in themselves.

–Finally you can see all updates regarding the progress of this current Untitled work in progress.

Fellow Warriors, I also have have a weekly blog that is posted in between these snippets. I would love to hear your thoughts.

AND if you have little warriors running around I now have many of my Children’s Short Stories on this website. They were originally on my Elissa the Curious Snail publisher’s website, but I now control that domain and have moved that content here. There are many stories for your little reader. These are great bedtime or anytime short stories.

In His Exciting Service,

Jeff S. Bray

Little Reminders of Who I Am

The Five Barred Gate

Elissa the Curious Snail Series

Check out amazing established and emerging writers at Weekend Writing Warriors. Each week we post new snippets from either published works or works in progress for each other to comment on. Gain insight of how the mind of a writer works and a behind the scenes look at works before they hit book stands everywhere.

12 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 11/1/2020 – Untitled WIP

  1. Hmmm, I’m liking the oddities and the questions they are causing. I completely understand about the difficulty in posting WIP sections. I’m always thinking of something I need to expand on or go back and add real quick. I also tend to write sparse and then add in as I make multiple passes over it, which can lead to things changing.

    Liked by 1 person

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