Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 9/27/2020 – Untitled WIP

Welcome back Weekend Writing Warriors. I was up late once again setting this snippet up. When will I learn to do this earlier in the week. But Friday was National Daughters Day. If you have been blessed with the treasure of a little girl, I hope you were able to celebrate with your daughter this weekend. After experiencing four boys, we received a surprise bundle of joy; a girl. Her name is Audrey. And Lord help us, she is 12 now, going on 16.

About four years ago, around the time I got serious about writing, Audrey asked me to write her a story. But not just any story, a story about a snail. I had never written a Children’s story before. At that time The Five Barred Gate was only half written, I was just a small time Freelance Writer. I wrote it and had planned for it to be only for her.

At the time, I had been writing for one client for several months. The topic moved over to Children’s Reading pieces. Through conversation they learned about my story and asked to see it. One month later Elissa the Curious Snail was published. The second book introduces Francine, a little girl who befriends Elissa. She strikes an amazingly strong resemblance the beautiful eight year old who inspired her creation.

So Happy Daughter’s Day to you and yours. I know I am blessed with mine. So, let’s get back to why you are really here…

Last week we had Masters and Grady relationship building as they wait for the coroner to call with an ID on the tattooed man. We found that they were not going to find out anything this day. The scene ended with both detectives heading home for the night. We will pick up the following day.

Here is a bit from last week:

“Not much else we can do tonight. Head home, get some rest. Be back here at seven. We’ll get back on it when Carmen can get those records and the coroner can get us an ID.” Masters said squinting at the clock. “Make it eight, give her time to do her magic, and you time to get settled in.”

Grady didn’t acknowledge or complain. He did not want to be sentenced to an all-nighter of speculating the unknown. He set down the file, said good night, and headed back to his sleeping wife.

Lieutenant Daniel Masters is a 27-year veteran Savannah Georgia Major Crimes Detective. He has seen many crime scenes like the one he saw last February. Little did he know this one would change his life. Grady, the newest addition to his team, is the first to see the abnormalities, but will the rest of the team listen in time. There is a serial murder on the loose in South Georgia, and for some reason the killer leaves their final victim alive right before committing suicide. But why? Masters and Grady must find out before its too late and the next killer strikes again.

Carmen Albanese was as good as Masters had made her out to be, maybe better. When Grady buzzed his way upstairs into the detective’s squad floor, she was dancing between two desks and four monitors. Two printers were spitting out copies of what her hard work had discovered.

“You must be Gradiosa,” she said without looking up from the screen. Her glasses reflected the glow of the monitor and a lock of brown hair tangled with the arm of her frames and hung to the desk where she leaned.

“Yeah. People call me Grady,” he said.

“Don’t like your name?” Carmen said.

“It’s not that. Just easier to say. Too many people flub it up.”

“10-4. I can’t tell how many times I’ve heard Alban-ess-ee, or Alban-ess.” she said.

“Is the Lieutenant in?”

“This early?” Carmen said with a hearty laugh.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

***That is this week’s ten, or so. Dialogue always seems to make snippets so short, so here is some more to fill your snippet appetite.***

“He’ll be here in about an hour,” she said, looking up at the clock. “Well, given a case like this, maybe sooner.”

“Speaking of, anything new?”

“Well, your Uber driver, I have everything on him. He’s pretty clean. Nothing out of the ordinary. His bank records are about what you would expect for a college student. Parents send him money every now and then, an occasional deposit here and there, mainly from his job. But nothing substantial. Then the student loans hit and his funds are gone.”

“But that doesn’t mean anything really.” Grady offered.

“Right. If you are dealing drugs, you aren’t going to put on your deposit slip ‘drug money’ deposit.”

“Any credit cards, insurance payments, protection plans?”

“Nada,” she said, handing him a thin file folder.

“This is it?” Grady asked.

“Yep, not even a parking ticket.”

“Could it be cleaned? Deliberate?”

“Hmm. I doubt it. There would be signs of a professional cleaner. Plus, he’s too young. He just doesn’t have a record.”

“Mr. Tattoo must have had…”


“Sorry, we don’t have and ID on the…”

“Stephen Allan Tanner,” Carmen said, handing him another file, this one was fairly thick. “That’s your corpse.”

Here we go. We finally get a name, Stephen Allan Tanner. But that is about it. There will eventually be much more to his story. The snippet this week could only hold much info on Mr. Tanner, A.K.A. Mr. Tattoo. More will come next week. (Don’t worry, no Bullwinkle cliffhanger this week) Simply stay tuned.

Earlier we spoke of the resemblance between Elissa’s owner Francine and my daughter Audrey. Well, you be the judge…

She is the reason Elissa exists, it was only fair that I make her a character in the series. So far, the Elissa series has four books for your little reader. You can find them on Amazon and Barnes and Noble or on the Isabella Media site.

And speaking of Elissa and Francine…

Elissa Learns About Thankfulness
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, consider this charming story for your little reader. Book 4 in the Elissa the Curious Snail Series finds Elissa living with her human friend Francine. Elissa is sad because she cannot do some of the things her friends can do like fly or run. She eventually learns to be thankful for who she is and what she can do. Find out what that is when you cuddle up and read this book with your little one. It is available on Amazon at the link above.

Moments of the Heart is not just this website. I have a Facebook page that has something going on everyday of the week. Come on over, follow, and interact with my page to check it out! Here is what you can expect to find there.

Monday is Memory Monday – I share an important event that occurred on that Monday or sometime that particular week.
Tuesday is Talk About it Tuesday – I post a weekly video where I cover a topic that has meant something to me over the past week.
Wednesday is when I post my blog for the week.
Thursday is This or That Thursday – A weekly two option poll that raises the question, do you like this, or do you prefer that?
Friday is Fun Fact Friday – I find and share an interesting or obscure fact.
Saturday is for Weekend Writing Warriors – This is when I post my 8 Sentence Snippet from a current or past work.

I really am trying to make it fun and engaging. Something that people look forward to visiting. It has been something that has been on my heart (no pun intended) for a long time and I am now acting on it. I would love your support!!

Little Reminders of Who I Am is now available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other booksellers.

–The Five Barred Gate is still available on Amazon in Hardback, Paperback, and Kindle versions.

–You can purchase TFBG direct from me on my Home Page. The benefit of buying direct is you will receive a personalized signed copy!!

–My Children’s books, Elissa the Curious Snail are also on Amazon. There are 4 books about an adorable snail teaching children about prayer and believing in themselves.

–Finally you can see all updates regarding the progress of this current Untitled work in progress.

Fellow Warriors, I also have have a weekly blog that is posted in between these snippets. I would love to hear your thoughts.

AND if you have little warriors running around I now have many of my Children’s Short Stories on this website. They were originally on my Elissa the Curious Snail publisher’s website, but I now control that domain and have moved that content here. There are many stories for your little reader. These are great bedtime or anytime short stories.

In His Exciting Service,

Jeff S. Bray

Little Reminders of Who I Am

The Five Barred Gate

Elissa the Curious Snail Series

Check out amazing established and emerging writers at Weekend Writing Warriors. Each week we post new snippets from either published works or works in progress for each other to comment on. Gain insight of how the mind of a writer works and a behind the scenes look at works before they hit book stands everywhere.

20 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 9/27/2020 – Untitled WIP

    1. Thank you for the compliment. She has been one of my favorite characters to write. She is much like writing Carter in Little Reminders of Who I Am. One of those characters where you try and find a scene to put her in. LOL.


  1. Love the dialog here. Crisp and authentic. And the cliff hanger – darn you. How lucky is Audrey to have a character doppelganger in books and such an adorable one at that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I sympathize about the mispronunciation, not with my pen name, but with my real last name. Almost everyone mispronounces it. And I like Carmen’s character already. I can see why you want to put her in a lot of scenes. Characters like that are gold!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Carmen seems like a useful person to know. I have one of those names that gets mutilated myself: Cara. People always pronounce it Car-a, like drive the car, but it’s actually pronounced care-a. My mother remarked that the name was becoming more popular, and I shrugged. When I was a kid, I hated my name. These days I’m neutral on it.
    ~Cie from Readers Roost and Naughty Netherworld Press~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Parents can be brutal. We all want our kids to be unique. Us, as writers, can be parents to our characters too and need to display such niceties when naming them. Be kind, or display that life can be just as cruel.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s