Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 5/17/2020 – The Five Barred Gate

Welcome back, Weekend Writing Warriors. I’m glad you’re back for this week. We are still wondering about what is going to happen with Renae. Jacob has not seen her in a few months. Three months if Edwards sentence had held true.

As a reminder, long before his incarceration he and Renae were estranged. Jacob has only himself to blame for that, now he can only hope to regain what he once had. And now this meeting. What will this conversation hold for him and their future. Better still, what will she think of the new Jacob when she gets to know him? Or has she given up on the old Jacob with the pain he has caused? They have been separated for a while now…

When we left Jacob he was seeing his wife through the new eyes he had been given. Eyes he may have not used in a long time.
She spotted Jacob and walked toward his table, but her expression never changed; if she was glad to see him, he couldn’t tell.

The Five Barred Gate Synopsis:
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the Non-Offensive Movement in the United States became federal law? What would happen to the freedoms guaranteed to us through the Constitution? This is the story of Jacob Andrews. He is faced with the decision to follow his heart and disregard what the law says about how he should live; even if it means his life.

“Hi,” Jacob said. He had spent the better part of the past two days rehearsing what he would say when he saw Renae and what came out was, hi? He shook his head; she had him speechless.

“Hi,” she echoed.

“Can you sit down?”

Renae nodded after a considered pause. “I can’t stay for long. I have to get back to work.”

“I understand. How is Michael?”

“Good. He’s running around all over the place.”

“Can I see him?”

“Jake, are we going to go through this again, because…”

“I’m sorry,” Jacob held his hand up to gently cut her off. “I’m not trying to argue. As you said, all in due time.”

She raised and eyebrow, surprised by his composure. “Thank you.”

**That is it for the snippet. But as per new relaxed WeWriWa rules, (thanks Teresa it helps a lot especially when we use dialogue) here is a little bit more to get us to a better stopping point.**

“How are you? How’s the bank and the new position? Well, maybe not so new now.”

“I’m growing into it. Occasionally I have problems with the tellers under me, but I’m finding my way.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Jacob smiled as he gazed into her green eyes. They always mesmerized him.

“What?” she asked, unsure of the intent behind his smile.

“I’ve missed you, Renae.”

“Look,” she started, refusing to meet his eyes. “There is something you need to know.”

Uh oh. What could this mean? Not the welcome Jacob was expecting. Not the welcome any of us would want. It is the last thing we would want to hear from our significant other. But what does it mean for Jacob? And does Edwards have anything to do with it? — Tune in next week to find out.

Can’t wait to find out? The Five Barred Gate is available for purchase on Amazon. Hardback, Paperback, and Kindle versions are available. The link is at the bottom of this post.

You can also purchase direct from me by visiting my Home Page. There is a buy now link at the bottom of the screen. The benefit of buying direct is that you will receive a signed copy.

Below that link is my Children’s book series Elissa the Curious Snail. It is a series of books about an adorable snail that teaches children about prayer and believing in themselves. Series at 4 books.

You can also read about updates regarding my next novel due out in August of 2020, Little Reminders of Who I Am as well as my current Untitled work.

****I have also started a multi-contributor-journal that will document the events of Coronavirus2020. This is a message board forum. While I plan to input regular entries, I hope you will leave messages in the comment field at the bottom. I encourage you to share what you are going through where you are at, as we all have different points of view across the country, and possibly the world. Please take the time and visit the link, if not to read what others have written, to leave your own comment and share what’s going on with you regarding the Coronavirus2020 Pandemic.****

In His Exciting Service,

Jeff S. Bray

The Five Barred Gate is Available on Amazon

Elissa the Curious Snail Series

Check out other amazing established and emerging writers at Weekend Writing Warriors. Each week we post new snippets from either our published works or our works in progress for each other to comment on. Get an insight on how the mind of a writer works and the behind the scenes of works before they hit the book stands everywhere.

16 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors 8 – 5/17/2020 – The Five Barred Gate

  1. I get the feeling she’s going to tell him she’s got a new boyfriend or has remarried. This is a nicely written snippet with a good cliffhanger.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Three months will be an awfully short time for remarriage, and Jacob and Renae are still married at this point. So, no she’s not remarried. Thanks for the compliment.


  2. Good job on portraying the awkwardness of the situation, Jeff. Why do I doubt her news is going to thrill him when he’s trying so hard?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I didn’t think I was going to like the new relaxed rules, but they do help, especially when we put dialogue into our snippets. They allow us to complete a scene and thought more accurately.


  3. Great dialogue, it portrays the awkwardness between both parties well! I don’t think her news is going to be good news… is Edwards involved? How did he to get her? If you tell me she’s dating Edwards I may flip a table….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Really strong dialogue. I love the emotions conveyed in the scene, but I worry that she’s about to drop the BF bomb, or worse lol. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There definitely is intensity building. I just hope that it delivers. Like you had said with one of your snippets, you wish you had written it differently. Once the big bomb is dropped here, I look back and wonder if the approach had done its job correctly. We shall see.


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