There comes a time when we all need to be true to who we are and step out, stand tall, and shout to the world of our convictions. For me, that time has come. Yes, with this blog, I have long professed my faith, and it has been the one source where that faith has been evident. But starting this week, I’ve come out of my cocoon and spread that across all my social media channels. It came time to forget about what it meant to the numbers.
Watching the Growth
You see, I had the hidden fear that if I openly professed my faith in Christ, I would see the growing number of followers drop. I put my faith in the growth in who I was as an author and the name I had built up. You catch a theme there? “I.” That is not a good theme to have when all that was there was given to me by God. The success I have is a path that the Lord has taken me on since the gift was given to me. Who am I to claim any of it?
Bearing the Name
The first thing I have done is add “Christian” to all of my platforms. So now, I’m not just an author, I am a Christian Author. Placing that title on my pages gave me such a sense of relief. It was a small thing, but aligning myself with a title that better describes who I am and identifies me with Christ, was a big thing for me mentally.
“Welcome to the Circus”
That was the title of a song our Drama Team used to perform back in the day. The skit was called The Mask. It was about pretending to be someone you are not. It was more about having an addiction and wearing a mask to pretend everything was okay, but for me, I was hiding behind the mask of my own name and success that I put God in the back seat and only wore His name when it came to my website and this blog. I would say, “Look, God. See, I represent you.” But while I am an author who is a Christian, I was not a Christian Author, even when my books contain Christian themes.
A Slight Detour
Last week everything changed. I hit a severe bout of depression. I was in such a pit and couldn’t get out of it. I realized that I wasn’t happy in my own world I had created. I was constantly relying on myself to provide for my writing success. Seeing my name in lights, headlined, and getting as many followers as possible. Me. Me. Me. And then that depression hit. It felt ugly. When our Sunday morning study in The Lord’s Prayer showed me that we rely on God for provision, it opened my eyes to see that all I do is for Him and His glory. Between that and my daily study it caused me to look at where my focus was in my life. And it was not on God.
Now with my eyes readjusted, I can continue to do what he has for the ministry he has for me. I still need to take that step back occasionally when I try and step into his place and get that swelled up head; seeing the numbers grow or seeing my name in lights. It is another one of the thorns in the flesh I deal with. It’s easy for me to let pride consume me.
The main thing I’ve learned from that tunnel that I walked through was I couldn’t hide behind the fear of being ridiculed for bearing His name. As I said in my vlog, I will proclaim His name no matter what. If it costs me followers, so be it. I must be true to my calling. If you stick around, AMEN!! We are in for an awesome ride together. God is good!! Thank you for your support, friends. And I will keep on keeping on through this journey.